Around Christmas time, while decorating the house, a teenager asked his dad why they keep decorating the house and putting up a Christmas tree. Dad replied that the tree was for Santa to put the presents under. The son said, ‘but dad, we all know it’s you. We know Santa isn’t real. We have known this for years.’ The dad replied, ‘You must have known for years. But last year, when you opened your gift, your face lit up. Your sister’s as well. We hugged. You were happy, but you knew I had bought that gift. Yet, in that moment to you, I was Santa, and I loved being Santa. Your sister probably still thinks it is Santa that gave her the paint set, but the joy in my heart cannot be replaced by anything. If that is what it feels like being Santa, then we should all be Santa.’ The son, preparing a sarcastic response because he didn’t want to help with the decorations, paused for a second and then said, ‘So, Santa only dies if we stop being Santa.’ Dad replied, ‘Santa stays alive if one out of all of us, keeps being Santa.’

And in that little story, Santa is real. Because Santa is us. And while it is a few weeks early for Christmas preparations, this blog looks at how we can give anonymously, not only to spread joy to those around us, but to keep the idea of Santa alive, to keep the fire of delight when we see others happy burning in our hearts, and maybe to make ourselves feel happy.

 

 

 

Why it matters

Very often, teachers choose to become teachers for purely altruistic reasons. We are free from personal gain or ego. But the pressures of life and work at times can make us forget why we decided to become teachers. There is no better reason to give than to feel altruistic again. To feel that what we are doing is for the greater good. And then, to actually do it.

When we give, especially anonymously, our reputation and feelings are superseded by the impact it has on the receiver. It is so similar to teaching at times. Our greatest joys sometimes come from seeing a student achieve, even if we get no recognition for it. I agree that it does hurt if that recognition is given to something or someone underserving, but even then, it is still a feeling of accomplishment on our side. Because the impact of our giving on the life of the receiver is much more important than our recognition or how we feel about the achievement.

Mental health. I don’t think I have to write much more than those two words. When we add value to others, we feel valued. There are so many things we do that lead to poor mental health. Why not do some that could lead to better mental health? If you are in a management position, why not actually put a wellbeing program in place that allows for anonymous support for staff by staff? It really matters.

It is also important to give because it could inspire others to do the same. I don’t think there are many doctors in the world who become doctors to be like another doctor. Their reasons are often to help people, or to heal. The same applies to most other professions, but I can think of quite a few teachers I have met that were inspired to become teachers by other teachers. And similarly, giving anonymously allows others to see the impact on the receiver, and can inspire them to also give.

The final point is why anonymously. The answer is quite simple. It avoids awkwardness. This is discussed a little more later in this blog, but there are few things that could destroy the positive impact of receiving something more than the overwhelming obligation to ‘return the favour.’

 

 

How to give anonymously

When we talk about how, it isn’t limited to us as individuals. In fact, I would encourage you to perhaps turn these points below (or other maybe better ones) into a project with Teens and Adults. They might have great ideas, including ideas about who might need help and support, and open up different avenues for noticing those that might just need a secret Santa.

Probably the most obvious first point here is to donate to a charity. It is very easy to do anonymously. If you are uncertain where to start, find a local charity or orphanage and start there. If you can speak to the charity or orphanage, it is always good to ask them what they actually need if you would like to give something other than money. They might need someone to volunteer, or diapers for babies, or as we found out during Covid, lots of alcohol spray.

Volunteering is another thing that could be done anonymously. Remember that not everything has to be completely anonymous. You could teach an online class for a group of refugees where only the group of refugees and the organisers know. You could help out a local animal shelter, or you could go to the local beach or park and help with a clean-up.

And the last but probably most important point, notice the people around you for the next few weeks. You might notice things they really need, or those that are struggling, and sometimes a note can do wonders. I remember many years ago, I was having a really difficult time. I was sitting in a café doing work and left to go to the bathroom. When I returned, there was a note on my diary that said, ‘People notice you. Keep the faith.’ I still have no idea who wrote it or put it there, and I am fairly certain I didn’t know anyone in the café. But that little note changed my day and probably my week for the better.

 

Giving doesn’t always mean giving

I am going to end this with another little story that I read online a while ago. A woman went to her neighbours to borrow some salt. While they were walking home, her son asked, ‘Why do you borrow salt from them if we already have salt?’ Mom replied, ‘They are having a difficult time. If I borrow something from them, then they won’t be embarrassed to ask me if they need anything. It makes them feel empowered if they are also in a position to help.’ And I am just going to end with that. Sometimes the best giving is just noticing those around you and noticing what they need.

 

 

Looking forward

If we want the world to be different, we have to make it different. If we want a merry Christmas, we have to make it merry. And if we want Santa to stay alive, we have to keep him alive. We have a few weeks until the Christmas season officially starts, and I am sure through teaching, and caring, we will keep on giving. Don’t wait until December. Be Santa today.